A number of years ago, my husband and I hired a photographer for a milestone event. He took beautiful pictures and was all-around great to work with. However, when reviewing the photos post-event, we asked about the blurry black stripe across the bottom of nearly every photograph. Over the course of a week, the photographer provided inaccurate explanations and excuses until he finally acknowledged that a camera problem caused the damaged photos.
Here’s the thing, my husband and I understand that mishaps like this one happen from time-to-time, and an honest explanation and apology was all that we needed. We also knew that some creative editing and cropping would salvage our damaged photos, but our relationship with him was unfortunately now beyond repair– all because he couldn’t take ownership and apologize. He lost more than potentially repeat customers, he lost referrals, and most of all, he lost his credibility.
It can be hard to apologize—whether we have committed a minor infraction or made a huge mistake. But the best way to resolve the situation and preserve the relationship is to simply say you are sorry, because when you show someone that you respect them enough to own up to your mistakes, you will receive their respect in return.
Some quick tips that will help:
- Don’t wait to apologize.
There’s nothing worse than listening to someone make excuses about something which is clearly their fault. Immediately after the offense say, “I’m really sorry I inconvenienced you” or “I apologize for dropping the ball on that project.” The more you delay apologizing, the less weight your apology will carry. - Mind your tone.
An apology is meaningless unless you sound genuinely apologetic. We all know the difference between a forced apology and a sincere one. Simply say, “I’m really sorry I forgot to acknowledge your contributions when I gave the presentation. I feel terrible since you were such an integral part of this project.” - Listen well.
The offended party may be angry and need to share how he feels. Listen attentively without making any defensive comments. Don’t correct any misinformation; you can clarify those details later in the conversation. Immediately after apologizing, your job is to listen to what is being said. - Explain what happened and what steps you’ll take to prevent the mistake in the future.
Calmly say, “While juggling so many projects for the group, I completely lost sight of the deadline. I’ll put all future deadlines in my calendar so this doesn’t happen again.” It is also a good idea to specifically ask if there is anything you can do to rectify the situation. - Move on.
Once you’ve provided a genuine apology and have a plan for preventing the problem from happening again, it’s time to move forward. Continuing to apologize every time you see the person will make the offended party uncomfortable and undermine the strength of your initial apology. In general, people are very forgiving, so once you’ve apologized, forgive yourself and move forward.