Reduce Your Guilt with 3 Simple Questions
women, we often believe that constantly feeling guilty is the
price we pay for juggling so many roles and responsibilities. While it may be difficult to completely
eliminate the guilt we feel, there is no reason we should feel consumed by what
we perceive as our shortcomings. The
next time you're feeling guilty, answer these three questions and you'll likely
find yourself feeling a whole lot better.
EXACTLY am I feeling guilty about?
for yourself? Working instead of staying
home with the kids? Not working longer
hours? Hiring help? Not feeling "present" at home? Asking friends for help? Before you can solve any problem, you need to
make sure you're perfectly clear on what the issues are in the first place.
Do I have
any control over the issue that's making me feel guilty?
If you have
no control over the matter, then you're only making things worse for yourself
by not letting it go. What's the point
of feeling guilty about working long hours if that's what you need to do to pay
the mortgage? Is there any value in
feeling guilty about leaving work early when you're the primary caregiver for
your sick parent? If you're having
trouble moving on from the guilt, consider what you might tell a friend in the
same situation. Chances are, your advice
to them would be a lot kinder than the criticism you're piling on yourself.
What CAN I
do about this situation?
of whether you have any control over the problem, you can usually find strategies
which help you manage it better and feel less guilty. Make a list of all the approaches that might
work, and give one a try. Maybe you can send
more frequent emails to your mom who says you don't call enough? Perhaps you can discuss with colleagues how
you'll actively contribute to the team project while working a part-time
schedule? Sometimes it's the simplest
solutions which have the biggest payoff.
Faun Zarge helps people find solutions for their work-life challenges.
She offers her practical, realistic strategies through a wide variety of highly interactive and engaging seminars. Please feel free to contact Faun directly to discuss how she might help your organization.